Welcome to Crazy Town

My dad had some amazing sayings that he repeated all of my life. Too numerous to count.

One of his favourites, when I would ask him, “Where are you going?” his response, “Crazy! Wanna come?”

Over the past few years I want to say to him, “I do not need to go, I am already there.”

We would always joke that my mom lived in her own world full of fairies, rainbows and possibly leprechauns, which makes sense because her ancestors are Irish after all.

I must admit, it does sound like an amazing place, am I right?

I do not know about you, but it sure feels like a place I would like to visit even for a short time. Instead, I am following my dad on the crazy train.

The past two years have been traumatic, to say the least. Then… TA DA! A worldwide plague. Obviously! I mean, DUH, why not?

Talking to my daughter Alexa, we both agreed we have been living in a plague the past two years and the world is now joining us. Obviously, a bit tongue in cheek.

Fairies and rainbows

I do feel like I have been living a bit in my mom’s world of fairies and rainbows. The UK has been in lock down for approximately 2 weeks (give or take a month or two). Then my friend and co-worker said, “Can you believe we are on week 9 of lock down?”

I was quickly and rapidly thrown out of the land of denial and into my dad’s world of crazy town.

Dad! I repeat, I do not want to go there!

I do find it interesting to see how people are processing this “collective grief.” The world we once knew has changed so drastically, because of a bat? Go figure.

Admittedly, I do not notice ‘things.’ My husband used to play this game, “Did you notice anything different?” when I would walk through the door of our house. He played this game for years, I always lost.

I would stop dead in my tracks and look around as if a bear was going to jump out at me. Years later I finally just said, “OK let’s just cut to the chase. You know I will not notice it unless I run into it with my head, so why not just tell me so we are not disappointed.”

He played this game a few more times.

For instance, several months ago when I arrived back home from Seattle after burying my mother, might I add. We were standing in the kitchen (3 days later, I guess I need to add that little detail) and he smiled and looked at me as if he had just caught a mouse.

I say, “What?” He then turned his eyes to the kitchen wall. My response, “Oh you painted the wall.” Now some might argue (and I tried) that it was because I was jet lagged, deep in grief, walking around like a zombie, and that is why I did not notice. We both knew this was not true. The worst part was, the wall used to be white and now it is dark blue. D’Oh.

My work colleagues are amazed at my inability to notice things. The walls in the canteen were painted a bright yellow, all the tables and chairs were replaced. Approximately one month later, I exclaimed, “Oh look at the new paint, table and chairs.” They were stunned and not in a good way.

However, that being said, one thing I do notice is people. People’s expressions, behaviours, body language, words spoken and unspoken. This is something that has come naturally to me even as a child and this was expanded in my studies and in certain jobs.

I do find humans quite interesting. I can also find humans extremely annoying. Some I would even like to punch in the throat.

On the flip side, I find some humans to be the most inspiring, encouraging, loving, resilient, and fierce like warriors. These are the humans I want to ride this crazy train with.

During this time of uncertainty, panic, grief, loss, isolation, lack of touch, lack of physical connection, I am still inspired by some of you resilient warriors. Thank you.

For those of you who are in full-blown panic, losing enormous amounts of sleep. If you are feeling lost and depressed, eating everything that isn’t locked away, I get it. Most of us can relate. We have not lived through this before.

One piece of advice (I am sure I could download a ton of advice that most would not care to hear/read) but if you’re reading this, then it is your own damn fault.

For the love of all that is holy, limit your intake of the news! I remember as a kid feeling the need to pop some anti-depressants (even though I did not know what those were at that age) after I would watch 5 minutes of the news my dad was watching.

All I heard then and still do to this day is the following:

“You’re going to die, find out after this break.” Now to make you feel less depressed, here is a cute little piglet who befriended a dog. Of course, after its mother tragically died. Have a nice evening.

Going back to my dads saying. We all have a little bit of crazy in us. Some more than others. I mean lets face it, some have been riding a crazy train for years and refuse to get off at the next stop! The scale is large. The truly unhealthy toxic individuals, I will avoid like a worldwide plague. The somewhat crazy people are my tribe. They make me laugh. You know who you are. Again, thank you. I could not imagine doing life without you nutters.

That is another thing that helps, LAUGHTER.

So, in the words of my amazing dad and my hero.

Where are you going? Crazy! Wanna come?