Listen! I know this won’t come as a surprise to you but you are not always going to be happy in this life. That’s not realistic. However, striving for happiness in your life is key. Here is why:
YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE MISERABLE!
I know, I know! “But Lisa, you have no idea what I’ve been through or what I am going through.” True. Remember what I said in the first sentence. You are not always going to be happy. Life can be f*cking hard and cruel sometimes. I know! Hear me loud and clear, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO STAY IN THE SHIT STORM. You have a choice. You have many choices.
I am going to provide you with some information, resources, and actionable steps you can take to live a life you do not need a holiday to escape from! Keep reading.
“You can eat all the kale in the world but if you are miserable in your job, relationships, or any other area of your life, no amount of kale will bring about true health and happiness.” Lisa Heacock
Hear me out. I am not saying don’t eat kale. Eat as much kale as you want. Blend it, grill it, chomp it raw, I don’t care. Eat so much you pee green. I am not a health guru. This is not about weight loss, weight gain, gut microbiome, although I geek out on this topic and find it fascinating. In high school I was borderline anorexic. I have been underweight, overweight and extremely overweight and anywhere in the middle. This is not about weight! It’s not even about kale.
In 2018 when I was caring for my dying dad, I decided to go back to school and become a Certified Health Coach. Not that I was ever going to be one. I knew that was not my lane. I simply wanted more knowledge in the area. I loved the course. It is still not my lane and I will not swerve.
This read isn’t for everyone. Some people love their jobs, are in a happy relationship, or happily single, have amazing friends and family and love kale. My guess is, if you are one of these people, it didn’t magically happen and you have had to go through some real shit to get where you are and good for you! I have done the same.
For those who are not there, yet. This is for you!
Let’s look at your life in sections. We are made up of many moving parts but if you look at your life like a pie, I told you this wasn’t about kale. It may be about pie!
Have you ever completed a “Life Wheel?” Don’t worry, most haven’t. I have included a life wheel as an added bonus for you. It’s ok to read or talk about change but if you don’t take action, it’s just talk. So, please do complete this.
If you were to look at your life in sections, how would you score each area? Career, personal growth, romance, friendships, family relationships, mental and physical health, finances, etc… Where are you thriving and worth celebrating? What areas need extra attention? What areas are a complete dumpster fire? The good news is, once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Honestly, even though it can be the most painful, deep, hard ass work, it is worth it!
Are you happy?
The researchers gathered health records from 724 participants from all over the world and asked detailed questions about their lives at two-year intervals.
Contrary to what you might think, it’s not career achievement, money, exercise, or a healthy diet. The most consistent finding we’ve learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period.”
Robert Waldinger, MD, is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and director of Psychodynamic Therapy at Massachusetts General Hospital. He is a practicing psychiatrist and also a Zen master and author of “The Good Life.”
Marc Shulz, PhD, is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, and a practicing therapist with postdoctoral training in health and clinical psychology at Harvard Medical School. He is also the author of “The Good Life.”
Do you have positive healthy relationships? If not, what do YOU need to do?
My business is called,, “Holistic Life Coaching with Lisa Marie.” The last part of the name is fairly obvious. The “holistic” part is because I know from personal experience, if you are unhappy in your relationship, romantic or otherwise, if you have friendships that drain every ounce of energy and joy out of your life, it impacts you.
If you hate your job and feel like it’s a slow painful death with no escape, totally get it. I know that sounds extreme but it really can suck the life out of you. First and foremost, your physical and mental health take a beating. It’s hard to be happy when your family, friends, or partner are negative or even toxic. So chomping on the kale, going to the gym, hiking mountains, meditating, praying to the gods of happiness will not all of a sudden create happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Now, don’t all of you health guru’s start sending me messages about how all of those things are important, I know. What I am not saying is that you shouldn’t do all of these things. I do most of them, although I hate hiking, I find it boring with no real reason to do so, but that’s just me. All of these lifestyle changes are so very important. I even suggest them to my clients.
So before you send that email, don’t argue with me, argue with the smarty pants Harvard researchers.
Find your people!
We hear this alot. We even know intellectually the importance of getting rid of toxic relationships and surrounding ourselves with amazing humans that breathe life into us instead of the fun sucking negative Nellie’s who drain every ounce of joy. The reality is, knowing and doing are very different things.
It’s true, I believe when we get older we put up with less shit. However, it’s not easy letting go of relationships, including friendships that no longer serve us. It’s ok and natural that some people are only meant to be in our lives for a certain period of time.
TOP TIPS FOR YOU MY FRIENDS:
- COMPLETE LIFE WHEEL – Assess areas that require change
- SET YOUR FREAKING BOUNDARIES – This is not popular with those who are used to plowing through them like a train on its way to London. You MUST change the dance, even if you step on their toes. Train them how they must treat you. If they don’t like it, they can leave!
- FIGURE OUT YOUR CORE VALUES AND ALIGN YOUR LIFE IN ACCORDANCE TO THEM – I bang on about this all of the time and I get it probably doesn’t get you all excited. I can, hand on heart, tell you this is life changing!
- TAKE ACTION TO GO AFTER THE THINGS THAT LIGHT YOUR SOUL ON FIRE – If you do not know what that is go find it. Find a professional who can help you. Take action and search for it. You’ll find it if you practice but you won’t if you ignore it.
I hope you have found this information useful, insightful and inspires you to take action to create the life you desire and DESERVE.
I would love for you to share this with someone who would benefit.
How to find me and how to work with me: