April 11, 2020
As I sit here and reflect on the last year, it is almost impossible to think that you left this physical world one year ago today.
I know once you were diagnosed with that hideous cancer, your life’s motto was “Life in Every Breath.”
Since you have transitioned, I would have to say that I somewhat disagree with this motto (sorry not sorry).
You see, it isn’t “life in every BREATH” for you. What I see now, even though you are no longer breathing on this earth, is you are still alive! You are very much alive in your wife. You are so incredibly alive in your beautiful daughters. You are “life” to all your friends and family. You are life to me. You are still breathing life.
Jeff, I know you are living. I know you show yourself to your loved ones. You would be so proud of the women in your life. Correction, you ARE so proud of them. The woman you chose to be your life partner (good choice by the way dude) and the two women you created, raised, loved, supported, and still support. THEY ARE WARRIORS!
They are warriors, not because they do not cry. Not because they are not heartbroken. But they are warriors because they get up every day and LIVE.
“Life in every breath.”
They get up every single day and honour your memory. They honour who you are and what you stand for. Strong? Yes. But that does not mean they cannot break. They have broken. They are broken. But they are resilient! They are warriors. They fight! They mend.
Jeff, even through your physical and emotional pain you showed all of us how to be kind. How to be grateful. How to give to others. You showed us all how to laugh and not lose our sense of humour, even through the shittiest of shits.
We all watched. We all admired. We were your cheerleader then; we are your cheerleader now.
I imagine you in the spirit world playing pranks on everyone you meet. Making everyone laugh. Giving big ol’ hugs. Showing kindness to all. Those who have gone before you and after you, will be drawn to you. Just like it was on earth.
So, while this day is a day of pain. I honour you. I honour your memory. I honour your family. We were meant to be together at Cannon Beach OR today, honouring your life and spreading your ashes. Instead we are all quarantined because of a worldwide plague. Honestly, you cannot make this shit up.
However, even through all of this. I will find joy. I will find laughter. I will be grateful. I may even find someone to prank (virtually) in your honour.
I love you and promise to live ‘LIFE IN EVERY BREATH.’